What's up with "Hei"?

First, Hei is a name I got from lot's a lot's of my anime crushes, haha XD. It's actually Heita Yagui; it's from anime characters' names that's why it's sounded like that. At that time I was dead inlove with Hisashi Mitsui of Slamdunk, haha. I was High School, 2nd year I think. When I became 3rd year, that's the time when we move to Parañaque. Moving to Parañaque was the best thing that happened in my life in those days...

I grew up in the City of Malabon (we were there since it was a munincipal). When I was a kid I was like an empty box^^; I think I grew up not caring that much, haha. It was like ok back then but when I became a 2nd year I grew really, really bored even though I have friends... I was having a thinking of my friends there only see me when they need something from me or that they easily forget me, or doesn't really care about me. Maybe, that time I was beginning to break... oh you know the emo stage of your kids. But I really think that I was taken for granted.

The real enemy of mine back then was the damn BOREDOM! I dunno why I was so freakin' bored. I even sometimes wish to have an earthquake so that the day wouldn't be so boring... I think I wasn't smiling for a very loooong time. Then one day, my papa told us that we might move due to his work, because he work in Parañaque back then. It's somewhere in MMS and we live in MMN that's why he's always so late -_-. I don't really know how to response (or maybe, I forgot to feel, haha) but I think I was glad. I realized that I wanted to go!

And then, we moved. We left that place for good without saying goodbye to my friends there. They didn't even know that we were planning to move, so, by the start of the school year, they were shock when they found out that we (my twin sis and I) were not gonna join them... I didn't really care how they feel or felt, I just wanna go away for a change of pace. But I know that I have real friends there it's just that I didn't feel it. But the time came that I realized that it was I, who took them for granted. I think I was blinded by my boredom. My boredom back then was a mystery for me. I wanted something more in my life.

Third Year High School. I want it to be the beginning of a new life. At first I was pissed because back in Malabon we were in a Special Science Class (DOST section) and I really don't wanna mess my school record. Back then, I was really focused and holding in my studies, nothing's more important. I even said to my mama that if I'm not in a DOST section I won't study anymore! Haha, but of course I couldn't do that so I didn't. But then, I was thankful that I was in my section; SOF-2 (School of the Future- *I know it sucks) becuase there, I met real friends. I met people that who wanted me and I wanted them to be with. It's also a special section but not that high of the Special Science Class I was in before. But I wasn't bored there >;)

It was then that avatars were opened again^^. We were a group of artist- er, mostly artist that were so twisted XD. So, from Heita Yagui, I changed it to Hei so that it wouldn't sound so culture biased. I like anime and mangga but I'm not in to Japanese culture like the schoolmate of mine from there. But I think their history is cool ;).

I knew then that "hei" wasn't just a nickname. I wanted to have my own personality because when I was a kid I just watched and observed things. When someone asked me about this or that or about her or him I can answer them by my observations but when someone asked me what I like(I forgot what the question was but it was about a material thing)... I just couldn't answer because I DON'T KNOW! I don't know what my real favorite color was, what do I prefer the most, blah, blah, blah... I just felt so stupid. I thought it wasn't a big deal but it happened that everytime I get a question about me, I just can't say a word... I know it wasn't normal. But when I was there, when I was in Advent (the name of our group) I just felt so alive. I was known!

So, I decided to become Hei, the self that I found. If only I could change my real name to Hei then, I would do. I sometimes forgot what my real name was. My friend said that she forgets what my real name is. I was then, HAPPY! Glad, that I have buried my empty self...So I thought...

The time came that I found out that Hei was just my comfort zone. It was my running place. Was my protection to the harsh world. I couldn't accept what I was; weak, lonely, empty... My self("R") was somewhere there... was somewhere here waiting to be accepted and strengthen on! She needs strength, she needs somebody for help. She needed me. It took me so much time before I understood. I say thank you to Hei for all the help. I now prefer to be called by my real name, for Hei and "R" are one :)

*what is "inside the box"? see here...*

Random Thoughts

it's true that i have a favor of preventing myself from getting hurt, but i guess, pain is inevitable.
is this cowardness, then? maybe sometimes it is being wise but sometimes it is cowardness...
maybe, sometimes, it is wise if we try to take the pain from the frontline of the battlefield.

I played Final Fantasy Dissidia and the story mode of the Onion Knight character hitted me. I kinda saw myself in him....
Tch..! So, I was being childish and immature all this time.

I found out that I'm still mad and angry of myself because of my past. I still have anger inside... But, then on, I said to my self that I'm not afraid to take any pain; then on, I realized that I'm not afraid anymore!


*what is "inside the box"? see here...*

My Trip to Singapore (part3)

The Song of The Sea, Sentosa
I love Arts! X3 . Whether it may be design/illustrations or literature - so, Song Of the Sea is a peice of art :love:. I just thought that the princess will materialize in a hardcopy or something -.-;

Ah, Sentosa, the free beach, I mean, it's where the merlion reside ;D
It was hot but absolutely fun. I think my kid cousins really enjoyed it ;) Nice environment, clean beach (although artificial), good for destressing ;)

The Goodbyes

After 2 weeks of my stay, I had a lot of fun and I learned a lot, really! I learned something in myself and it made my horizon broader so that I may have a better view of what I would like to have for my future :)


I was packing my things (again) and checking if I had missed something... I was sure I had it all packed!~;). Timing, that my tita's family will be moving so they were packing too. I was asked to stay a little longer so that I can help in their packing, haha ;p. Anyway, it was time for me to go....

Before I left their home, before I went out through their chimed door- I should've said goodbye properly. I should have look at them and kiss my cousins on their cheeks. Von was asleep, so he didn't know that I was going. When we were walking to the highway when my grandma told me that Von was always checking on me in my room (Den and I share a room^^) when he woke up in the morning.... Sh**t! Now, when I heard that, I really, really wanna go back to the elevator go back to their home so that I could kiss them goodbye... I really sucks at goodbyes; My friends will just find out the next thing that I won't be around - sometimes for days, sometimes for good... I thought I told myself to say goodbyes properly... Anyway, next time, maybe?


*what is "inside the box"? see here...*

My Trip to Singapore (part2)

The MALLS!
So, I thought the Philippines has a lot of malls! But in SG, it seems like every corner has it 0_0. Their malls are like state-of-the-art^^; I dunno, for me they are all big! There's a mall my tita went to and got lost in it^^; The CRs are all well groomed and designed, and you'll never run out of tissues^^;
I was lucky that, during my stay, SG was like in a state of serious SALE! Oh yeah! I bought things alright XD. I bought the cutest frog coin purse, dresses (updating my dress closet - next is my casual wear^^), and clothes and chocolates for pasalubong XD. I didn't manage all this by myself, though^^; I got helped by my tita :p . I just love strolling in the mall XD .

SG Fashion
Just love it, that's all XD . Hmm... I don't like the super-kaduper micro mini shorts and skirts though^^; eventhough the wearer is flawless...
I like the fact that it is Korea+Japan Fashion! I would want to shop only here for clothes, my kind of taste XD .

Street Food!
Gotta taste them all! XD - Street food or any food in their culture. I didn't know that they like spicy foods. -Ah, spicy, not much like it^^; They don't have sweet sauce for the street food :( Here, everything has spicy flavor - I think; spicy chicken sandwich, spicy noodles, spicy sauce, spicy chocolate and ice cream... - nah, haha(well I think they forgot to make those).
Here was the first time I tasted a duck...!
I forgot what they call this dish but it's good^^. Duck meat taste like soft pork - not chicken^^;
Unfortunately, I don't have the budget for food, so I only tasted few of thiers :( actually, my tita bought that all^^;

Life-sized Cloud!!!
....Oh nothing, it just a FREAKIN' LIFE-SIZED ACTION FIGURE CLOOOOUUUUDDD!!! (in an anime store) XD ,so I didn't harassed him...wehehehe... Xp
I thought that I can find some BJD store in SG but there's none :(


*what is "inside the box"? see here...*

My Trip to Singapore (part1)

*what is "inside the box"? see here...*

The Adventures and Misadventures of Me


From Home to Church, From Church to Home

Tomorrow will be my Church Worship Service but I dunno where a locale is. Fortunately, Den-den's classmate is an INC member, woohoo! I'll be joining them in going to church


-On the next day, after the worship service...-

Ohmigosh! that was so embarrassing! Gee's family (den's classmate) conveyed me to my Tita's block and waited til den-den and my grandma's there to get me. Mind you, her WHOLE FAMILY waited for me to get home safe!!!! Waaahhh! They ditch their stop to join me, and took taxi (which is, here, and even in the phil., is expensive) instead.

So I have to know how to travel alone so that I can't be anyone's burden..! I have to make up for them in a way... >.<;


-On the next worship service-

My uncle, auntie and den accompanied me to church they told me what I have to know and will meet after the service is over to IMM, a mall near there.

The service is finish, I have to go there, alone for the first time *eyes burning*. I took the bus, 180 -188! Oh, 188, Ate corrected me. My auntie said after the first 2 stop is my stop. My uncle told me; "tapos nitong intersection, tapos nitong track, tapos nitong overpass...." but I didn't mind that, "Waah~, ang dami naman nun..!" that's to many to remember -_-;

I was counting in my head how many stops the bus had done... 1...1....2? I don't see any familiar things. Even the truck, even the intersection... Shoot, I'm lost! (not that I'm not used to -_-)

So, I arrived at orange condos ( I forgot what they call them). ("Where's IMM? it's a mall so it's suppose to be popular")- not sure if it is a mall!

"Excuse me, Do you know where IMM is?"

"IMM?" she pointed to a direction "You see the '-forgot the number-' sign there? follow that direction and go there." said the lady I asked in the bus stop. I think she's Chinese.

"So, it's just straight ahead? (from that direction)"

"Yes, straight ahead."

So, I move ahead. after 10 steps, I looked behind me to know if the lady and her kids were still there. Because I don't want her to see me asking for directions to other person. It's not that I didn't understand her, it's because I'm lost again Talk about very bad sense of directions So, I just walked ahead, turned right, ahead then turned, and then, asked the girl sitting on the bench there and who's playing something on her cellphone or was she texting?
"Excuse me, do you know where IMM is?"
"Oh, you have to take a bus. It's after that building."
("WHAAAT???") "I have to take a bus??"
"Yes, it's 2 stop here"
"From here, it's about 2 stops?"
"Yes."
"Thank you"
"Ok."

("It's that far???") I should've asked where the bus stop is... So now, I'm looking for the bus stop and IMM. My cellphone's ringing, it's my auntie. I told her the story, she was bewildered, so am I. She told me to call if I have found the bus stop.

After some walk, I don't want to believe that I'm that far so, I asked another human being. It was an Indian who is looking after a child. She said that it's 10-15 minute walk from here. See?! I wasn't that far. So I followed her directions to follow the highway.

I'm near, I know I'm near. This looks familiar. I asked another girl:
"Excuse me, where's IMM?"
She pointed to a building and said "Oh, there, the whooole building."
"Oh there?" with sparkle in my eyes ("yes! aircon") "Thank you." "huff, huff..."

There, I was reunited with my relatives. And oh, a promo guy gave me a free pin and said that if I wear that I will have great fortune everywhere I go.. -just kidding He told me that if I wear that and go to a particular floor I will have discount to their product. Haha, even in the phil I have good luck in promo discounts And I'm not saying no for promo foods


My Bus Rides

What I admire the most here in Singapore is their commuting system. It's so organized that it's no hassle to commute. The vehicle is maintained, air conditioned and not dirty, same goes to their MRT, and SMRT. There are no smoke belchers, no jaywalkers, and no heavy traffics. It's peace I tell ya

One day, when I was heading to the church, I got in the bus with all seats are all occupied so I have no choice but to stand. I go to a side which is opposite to the exit. Then it got crowded... and crowded, and crowded. Even if it's still crowded, there's still that peace in me at hindi kayo magkakadikit there's still some distance (oh, you know I hate crowded places. Don't want in a place full of people). And, I was still enjoying the scenery, plus, there's no pana near me...haaayysss

Then, unexpected thing happened breaking the peace.....

("...What the-? WHO FARTED?!") I didn't say that out loud of course, but it did brake the peace and my breathing as well...

Of course, I shouldn't have neglected those facts; that their farts stink, that they loose their waste in the CR too.... Haha, so much for peace

I was guessing that the guy in front of me did it... he looks uncomfortable... hmm, looks suspicious. Don't worry bro, it's natural.


-Next Trip-

After another worship service, I was heading for home. I did go home all by myself from church before so I have better confidence in me now (I was sooo proud of myself the first time I went to church and went home all by myself ).

I was waiting for the Esso gas station, my mark that it is my stop. I was looking at the signs but I was thinking that I could still get lost and then I saw the Esso gas station so, I tapped out and get off the bus. The place looks unfamiliar and this is not the bus stop I know. Soooo~, I did it again >_<; I was still in Bukit Batok, I thought so! Bukit Batok is a town before Choa Chu Kang, the town I'm suppose to be heading. Haha, I was glad too that I remembered those name as well

So now, I'm waiting for another 188 bus. I looked at the fares and buses board, although, I dunno how to read it, but I saw that it's 7-10 mins waiting after that bus will arrive again. I sit on the bench and wait. Suddenly a lady walks towards me:
"Hello, are you Chinese?"
"No."
"Do you speak Chinese?"
"Sorry..."
"English? You speak english?"
"Yes, english."
"Do you know where the MRT is?"
"Mm... Isn't written there?" I think I saw her looking at the board awhile ago...

We went to the board and oh, I forgot, I dunno to read this thing! But I want to point the right direction, makes me feel goos at it, haha Xp

She pointed on two stations and said; "Is this one near MRT or this one?"

I think she's asking if which station is nearer to the MRT and I don't know where! I'm just a person who's trying to help in directions because she's poor at it that when she helped, she feels not so poor in directions but apparently, is not helping. I got here myself because of my stupidness! I wish she could see that -.-;

"Erm... sorry, I don't know. ("I'm a tourist.")
She repeats the question again.
"I, I don't live here..."

Then she saw a bus arriving and rushed to it. She asked the driver. Good choice, sorry I wasn't able to help -.- I was thinking bus 187. Then, I saw bus 187 just right behind the bus she rode. The LED sign on top of the bus said "-I forgot what's in here-"/MRT. Oooohh.... well, good luck... to us that is.
I got home safe and sound.

this is...

in here you can hear me talking to my mind. This is basically what's inside my mind.

Welcome^^,

I'm thinking aloud hoping that it may help anyone who'll read my blogs (yeah, what's inside my mind is helpful -.-). I'm thinking aloud so that my mind will not get crowded with unsaid thoughts, so that I will not get insane.
Or, I could just post what ever I want, may it be helpful to you or not, haha >:3

In here, the box is open.